2008- probation officer, taking bribes when i can , what i can, wherever i can.

1988-2006- chronic drug addict and alcoholic in the square mile.

diary of a reinsurance broker from brentwood
6am: unleash bowel movement , purging yesterdays cocaine, lager and sweet meats.
6.30am: get up/shower/power wank ..thereby processing remaining toxins down the plug hole
6.45am: violent argument with wife
7 am: no time for breakfast , off to work!!

7.45 am: toilet, wank , capaucino
8am : work!! push papers around, stare at screen , tap pen on teeth, toilet, wank.
1oam :pretend to read 'lloyds list'
11am : 'strategy 'meeting with other 'non marine facualty specialists', , in reality alcoholics all shaking like the drunken bakers in 'viz'.
item one, agenda one , priority one ..liase to meet in drakes wine bar or the english club 11.45am
11.40am: pick up folders and with the determined look of east german sprinter marlies goher, stride purposefully to the 'market' with durans 'hungry like the wolf' ringing in your head. eager for new business....
11.42am: simply decide against the exciting new buisness venture of going to see some cunt in his 'box' head straight for 'drakes' in leadenhall market.
11.45am. meet with other 'non marine facualty specialists' to discuss covering each others arses, if it all gets on top.
12.15pm: thoughts turn to the kibble and where we take our custom today.
will it be 'wraps', 'bar bed' , the counting house, the elephant or the wine lodge.(descisions descisions!!
1pm: time to take the show on the road!!: press buzzer to gain entry into bar bed's gentlemens club upstairs behind reinforced fire door.
1.01pm: time to mingle!!. associate with 'colourful' collection of junkys, theives, bullys, cunts,pimps, whores and reinsurance brokers.
4.30pm: leave establishment ripped to the tits and £2OO Lighter, but in possession of the life giving elexier that is the kibble. scurry' golem ' like to lloyds of london for an appointment with inaminate object 'the lutine bell'
4.45pm: 'rap' with bob the pristine yeoman at the entrance , of lloyds, cunted , like a long lost brother(making a mental note to ignore him the next day, if i survive the next 24 hours)
5pm: leave bob crying/scared and go to meet broker for my 2.30pm appointment
5.o2pm: wank in bogs, really unloading a pootle of gear in a prolonged orgasm due to being on the kib all afternoon.
5.11pm.... miss my 2.30pm appointment and express my apologies. my nans dying of 'testicular cancer 'or something
5:15pm ..'lunch ' more kibble and more pints in leadenhall market. discuss exciting new opportunities within a growing market with other 'specialists'
5.45pm..return to office. pack up leave.may 'jimmy' open the petty cash box and point the finger at the african cleaners...after all 'my word is my bond'
5.55pm..in to the wine lodge , more cocaine, more pints, more disscussion on pornography
7pm..asked to leave by management, quick inventory reveals dangerously low stock levels of kib ie 1/2 a grm. reorder critical.i repeat reorder critical!!
8pm..leave the counting house restocked..phew!!!1
8.15..in the cheshire cheese, reminiscing with other 'specialists' about our brave comrades that have fallen by the wayside and now live above a pet shop in a bedsit in tooting/eltham/basildon. either estranged from their wife and children or dead.
8.15pm to 11pm : have a fucking good laugh about the above 'fallen'. cunts.
10.15pm: time for home!!!. ring estranged ex colleagues wife on train home , wired to fuck, with propositions of a sexual nature, realise you have in fact rung your sister, but continue anyway.
11pm just in time to get a top of cocaine from colourful characters in the essex arms or to ring the travelling community to pop a gram round, phew!
12.25: home time!!!, throw dinner in bin have violent argument with wife, spend a night of fitful sleep on the sette in suit, waiting to do it all again!!

I think for a week or two that would be really fun.  How did Fridays go?


(51 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

La Nausee wrote:
loopdokter wrote:
jamie wrote:

that's brilliant. is it a bloke or a woman?

That is French Canada.  That's all you need to know.

The sort with the specs (you just know she doesn't need them) looks fit but a grade-A whining cunt. Warping your head at an afters about whales and stuff when all you want her to do is go ass to ass on the pool table.

Brilliant.  Whales ... nailed it ... LOL.

Great thread this.  Let me help out:

I can hear a difference in sound quality between MP3's and WAVs.

Sbando wrote:

(no klang, not even close to a klang).

And yet it is and a massive one.

There was a time when I pictured a future with this rave princess:


drwho13 wrote:

Oakenfold - 2001 at the Area 1 Festival. Unreal levels of bad.

Great top 3.  First post too ffs.

deadhead wrote:

^ nah.. there is no cell service out there so I have no idea what's going on.

Unfortunate news:  http://blog.burningman.com/2014/08/news … n-event-2/

Hop_Head wrote:

She's going to be drug addled in a free love fuckfest. Not to say she won't remain faithful mind you but she will be surrounded by penises with enough upward mobility to afford the trip away. Come to think of it, the outlook is pretty grim. Thoughts and prayers.

I would say that's a realistic summary.. a lot of Silicon Valley's finest are attending, I am just trying to pretend that the generalization of them all being nerds is 100% true.

Some of my friends are being very supportive.. one send me the horoscope for her sign today which said "opportunity for a new romance is very likely"


Did she mention these other guys or perhaps is she not mentioning them enough?


(106 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

Yesterday I watched a grown man play a mobile phone game that seemed to be based on the activity of cute little animated kitty cats.  An adult male.


(106 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

Homegrove wrote:
Phil Opian wrote:

Does she get fully kitted up? Daft Boots and gloves??

So she asks if I'd get into a sidecar. I said yes thinking she was joking.
I promise to post pictures if we ever do that, might kill a few of you with laughter. All to a good cause and all that.

This is what the site should be about. It's been a long time between drinks since the cross dressing one but this has the potential to knock it out of the park.

She's going to be drug addled in a free love fuckfest. Not to say she won't remain faithful mind you but she will be surrounded by penises with enough upward mobility to afford the trip away. Come to think of it, the outlook is pretty grim. Thoughts and prayers.


(25 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

JamesLawrence wrote:

Hi All, first post on Bedrock and I decided this was the threat to do it on

You timed your run beautifully and absolutely nailed it.  Sterling debut.


(8 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

They believe (due to imperial abuse) that body parts are stolen from the dead, particularly by westerners. So when told to bury a corpse with Ebola they open it up first and ensure all the bits are there. Queue disease.

Was a committed binge drinker. 30 pints a week over 3 or 4 nights. The Mrs and I took to drinking at home. Drink, tell an amazing story, demand a particular song get the credit it deserves, tell a joke, fuck, fight, sleep on the couch.

millsy23 wrote:
fadass wrote:

bedrock board motto.."we who are not as others"

Aye, sometimes we have 3 bottles of Babycham but it plays havoc with our cholestorol...

Fucking fannies.

lol. It was only a matter of time.

Ssshh. Don't make a big deal of it.

Big Fella wrote:

Always thought it is weird drinking heavily at an afters.

You must be rich.

Beijing Dave wrote:

*Snidey tipping of drinks into plantpots

And I thought pretending to work at a record store was a low moment for the board. What a mess.


(335 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

I was screwing around and am now annoying myself but wow dude, wow.


(335 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

Brand is perception. That was the subject we tackled on day 1. I trust you see your argument for the shambles it is when sense checked through that lense.


(335 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

smashdad wrote:
Hop_Head wrote:

We learnt that branding a space represents tacit approval of all content in that space in the eyes of the average consumer.

Did you also learn that a prominently displayed, appropriately worded, disclaimer renders your statement worth less than the bits of cyberspace it continues to occupy?  And to what extent did you also study 'the average consumer'?*

Thanks for asking. What a great opportunity to apply my course knowledge. On disclaimers, best practice dictates assuming they are never read. This is the only legally sound play. On consumer psychology, and in particular the blurring of media vs medium, see precedent in YouTube and Facebook being compelled by the populous to censor hate groups/hate speech.


(335 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

We learnt that branding a space represents tacit approval of all content in that space in the eyes of the average consumer. These are the same people that think Jim Parsons is a heterosexual genius or Mrs Browns Boys D'Movie is a good idea. Hardly a stretch then for them to think John calls all women Dorris or people from Liverpool "Bin Dippers". A direct hit to his personal brand every time Dermo hits the keyboard and ETC rambling on is a cautionary tale in regards to living a dance floor orientated lifestyle in a genre struggling to get anyone under 30 through the door. Last to leave turn the lights out.


(335 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

I recently completed a diploma in Online Reputation Management via correspondence and let me assure you this board has all the "don'ts" in the curriculum covered.

millsy23 wrote:

I'm happy if anyone wants to share their fondest Loopy memories in here too by the way.

The studio tour was pretty awesome


(335 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

I wonder who will visit the board more during their ban?  Both would have to be five times a day at least.  Tragic.


(441 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

Big Fella wrote:

I vote Ex Tractor Fan and Hop_Head.

Love to.  My campaign platform:

- Phil Opian to apologise to Eastern Bloc for fraud otherwise perma banned
- Aaron Littles check box gag to be revived
- More professors and madmen