smallman1 wrote:

Some absolute gold in there Hop Head!

Smashdad's one really made me laugh!

It's our human bias that makes it seem possible a dispassionate mathematical formula is favouring one poster over another.

A threat to close the board turned it into a Pleasantville clone for a period, where level headed, take him home to Mum types were polling through the roof.  This utopia appears short-lived, with the current spate of bannings, terrorist acts and outright revolt, the age of the bad boy has arrived. 

You'll notice a tweak to the algorithm where the username is scientifically matched to the fictional (mostly) criminal or jailbird the user shares the most significant data points with:
1.    DJDiggers – The Governor
2.    Dogman Star – Hannibal Lecter
3.    Big Fella – Simon Adebisi
4.    Beijing Dave – Ryan O’Reilly
5.    Homegrove – Colonel Klink
6.    Sean C – Chopper Reid
7.    BMM – Big Stan
8.    Steelydan – Richard Kimble
9.    Millsy – Gordon Gekko
10. Smallman1 – Remington Steele
11. Amps – Frank Leone
12. Boring – Frank Warren
13. MattBlack – Cameron Poe
14. Diminished Responsibility – Navjot Singh Sidhu!/image/2647004651.jpg_gen/derivatives/landscape_490/2647004651.jpg
15. Monostereo – Norman Stanley Fletcher
16. Loopdokter – Paul Crewe
17. Benson –  Dr. Sara Tancredi
18. smashdad – Exercise yard inmate
19. Ncable – Tobias Beecher
20.    Dusted - Dr Evil

Diminished Responsibility wrote:

Got my dowry a couple weeks back and I have to say, the missus nailed it. Loving my new watch

Have you learnt to love each other yet?  In the way that both sets of parents assured you you would when they brokered this marriage I mean.


(1,216 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

poirot wrote:

Oh shut up fkin crying

Dink comes from French Vietnamese "beaucoup dinky dau". Beaucoup means "very" in French, Dinky Dau is Vietnamese for crazy. Shortened, dink just means "crazy" Not derogatory.

Nong – is a Chinese word meaning peasant farmer not derogatory in any way.

Gook was used in the all the Vietnam movies I didn't see you or the world going mad when it was used in all those. Just paraphrasing. Did you complain to Hollywood when it was used? Did you fuck.

And i re-iterate all of these words have been used by lots of people on here before. Just do a search.

And its exactly the same with the so called 'homophobic taunts' I called Lovejoy a mincer and look how many times he's used it himself in a homophobic manner prior to me calling it him. Wasn't complaining then was he?

You're just clutching at straws you're pathetic and Its just another pathetic attempt at getting someone banned.

I did want you to go away for good but I think I will instead.  Take care mate.


(1,216 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

John tours through Asia, he did a GU from Hong Kong for christ's sake.  Surely he doesn't want to be associated with that type of language.  Seems accepted here which is horrifying.  Same with the homophobic taunts.  It's vile and I don't understand why we don't just draw a line in the sand and wipe it out.


(1,216 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

You have some disgusting views and they've been supported or ignored by the board for too long.  I personally thought the unending abuse would have been enough but surely this has done it.  Good riddance.


(1,216 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

Ncable wrote:
poirot wrote:

Not gook, dink or nong lands

How does something like this slip under the radar??

If that's not a perma ban then nothing is.  Breathtaking racism.

When dusted came back.

Reg the Ledge

smallman1 wrote:

I thought he was a trolley dolly?

Wife: Good morning dear
Me: ....
Wife: I said good morning!
Me: Oh, hello ... morning
Wife: Where did you go?  You were off somewhere there for a second
Me: Hmm?
Wife: OK. What's the matter?
Me: ... Sorry?
Wife: With you.  What's the matter.  You're not listening and you look like you've seen a ghost.
Me: Oh it's nothing
Wife: I know you better than that Bernard J Hop_Head.  Let me know know what's going on.
Me: Really dear its fine.  if you'll excuse me I'm not feeling 100%, might give breakfast a miss.

10 mins later ...

Son: Morning Mummy
Wife: Morning son
Son: Mummy, why is Daddy so sad?
Wife: I think he's feeling a bit ill
Son:  Is that why he's on the toilet?
Wife: Well yes perhaps but it is crude to talk about toilet habits at the breakfast table
Son: I hope I don't get what Daddys got.  I don't want to cry on the toilet
Wife: Cry on the ... what do you mean ... oh no

*grabs laptop*

Wife: ... what was he looking at ... Smallman1 ... odd name ... "I thought he was a trolley dolly?" Oh God!

Wife: *Banging on the toilet door* Please open the door honey, we can get over this!
Me: I'm so sorry honey, I can't face you or the boy again!
Wife:  Bernard No!  Please!
Me: Don't open the door!!
Son: No Daddy!!!!


Me:  Son!  Come quick! Daddy has some amazing news!
Son: What is it Daddy, I'm sleeping?
Me: Something wonderful has happened! Hurry!
Son: weeee!!
Me: Look son, one of Daddy's internet friends, look what he is.
Son: ... "instructing on light aircraft" ... Daddy does that mean?
Me: It does!
Son: You've been talking to a pilot!
Me: A real live pilot!
Son: That's in the sky daddy!  Flying in the sky!
Me: Up there my boy!  Up in the wide blue yonder! He might be up there right now!
Son:  Hooray Daddy! Hooray!
Me: I told you my boy! We did it! We did it!
Son: I love you daddy!!!!

Ahad Adump wrote:

Used to play this in 2003 driving to and from work instructing on light aircraft in East Herts. … 2003-08-15


Hi Dave, thanks for your interest in the Power Rankings.  The rankings are based on a hi-tech proprietary algorithm that remains the intellectual property of Power Rankings Inc, so any effort to simplify its inner workings for the layman would be doing our "Techspert Team" a great injustice (BTW if you have a PHD in Computational Science or Predictive Analytics please do drop me a PM, we are always looking for new staff).

Off the record, we do see a correlation between stinkers and personal ranking.  Suffice to say being at the helm of one is not an enviable position.  In terms of timing, the rankings are released in a deliberately sporadic fashion, think of it as an advanced mystery shopper program designed to capture the behaviour of posters in their natural state.

Onward & Upward!

This and "Vegemite News" are the two stinkers of the front page and rightly so.


(28 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

loopdokter wrote:

I got in touch originally with the thought of wanting to sign them to my label that I never quite launched properly,

New custom title request.

Beijing Dave wrote:

Tell me, if Buttrich (Timo Maas), Various (Sasha) and Osbourne (Oakenfold) did most of the work why do they let said artists release tracks under their name and claim all the credit.

Seems spurious to me, although I am not a producer or engineer so will happily be enlightened by someone.

To fucking trick us.  To get one over on us.  The cunts.  None of them are any good, just had all the luck I didn't have.  Those pricks.

Grown Ups
Hall pass
The Internship

Air Force One


(36 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

zackster wrote:

deep truth in this one.

I love this thread.  All the mongs outing themselves.  I might start one on how funny Archer is to collect the rest.


(36 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

poirot wrote:

Smashy and dick_head should be made to live with one another for a month.

Hopefully he'd bring his telescope so we could spy on the neighborhood and write down what songs they are listening to.


(36 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

We all have an MBB moment coming for us.  Mono has met his.  This is teenage boy humour masquerading as undergrad twat humour.  For shame.


(36 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

I'd love to be able to say "I guess you had to be there" but I am here and it's shit.


is back next week!!..and what a vibrant line up of hipsters, hijabs, sexless  housewifes, possible homosexuals, page 3 ex fluffers , eastern european body builders , Triads and IC1 male and female breeders.

Both pipes for at least two of them.


(102 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

poirot wrote:

He wouldn't have stuck his neck out of the resort.

Why would you pay to live like a peasant? Such an imperialist thing to do.

Effortless 2 pager for a haircut. They all add up.