Beijing Dave wrote:

It's not that funny.

It's just the standard La Nausee blueprint with the gaps filled in differently.

It's so subtly nuanced and layered that I appreciate most people don't fully get it. I do of course, I certainly do.

ghostriddenhuffy wrote:
Diminished Responsibility wrote:

Yup, that seems alright to me too Hanners. 5 years is a long time. You'd be dealing with a seriously bitter person if they have a problem after such a long time.

@ghost and HopHead -

Friend #1 moves to another city and asks Friend #2 to 'look out' for his missus while he is away. They kinda consider eachother best friends.

Friend #1 and his missus havevsome baggage because she feels the relationship isn't really going anywhere as #1 is more concerned about his career/higher education, than worrying about the future of the relationship. Regardless, they do long distance.

Friend #2 spends lots of time with #1's missus, while #1 is away, everything from movies, dinners and music festivals, but ensures everything is 'platonic'.

One year goes by and #1 moves back to the same city, as his missus and #2, only to be blindsighted with a break-up. #1 takes it on the chin and starts dating a girl from the other city he was working in for a year, and she even moves in with him. #1's former missus immediately shows tons of signs that she's interested in #2. #2 cuts her off out of respect for #1.

About 6 months later, #2 can't handle it anymore and professes his love for #1's ex. #1 is pissed off and gives him an ultimatum, end it with the ex or end the friendship. #2 isn't budging and wants to continue dating the ex.

It's not number one or number two's fault.   It's the girls fault.   It never ceases to amaze me how girls cleverly mask their desire for multiple cocks -  which reminds me of that Dave Chapelle skit featuring Mike Mooney " everybody wanna BE a ni&&er, but nobody wanna be a ni&&er".  A lot of girls wanna be sluts, but they just don't wanna get caught being a slut.  She's a hoe.  Finding a quality girl is very difficult, especially where I live. Girls tend to be inundated with entitlement issues and are exceedingly superficial.   But there is always a diamond in the rough, and you find them in the least plausible of circumstances.  You see, the girl that truly loves you will stand by your side and support you no matter what.   True love is one of the most potent bonds in the world.  A year is a long time, but it's not five years or two years or three years.  If the agreement before hand was made that number one was going to be gone for one year and return, that is something they should've agreed to. If not, then they should've ended the relationship when number one left to move to another city.  Long distance relationships work only when there is a pre-existing commitment that was in place before the distance was created -  even then, it does not always work,  that is why it's critically important to test your partners resolve when you are with her.   I test people all the time, but you don't know how anyone is going to react until you test them.   Some of the best advice that my dad ever gave me is that trust is always earned – don't ever forget that.   If there is ever a question as to how much each of you are committed to a relationship,  then the best thing to do if you move away,  is to simply end it,  or say let's just date whoever we want and when I get back into town let's see where we are -  trust me, this will work in your favor every single time.   Another thing my dad taught me is that girls crave security, and how that security comes is many different forms, but the bottom line is that women crave security -  if you take that away is that they are fish out of water.   It automatically puts the ball in your court, and you have much more control over your life.   If you stay together and she winds up cheating on you, she will never tell you. But if you're not together you don't have any obligation to tell her about anything and she will be wondering what you're doing the whole time,  but the bottom line is you're not together and you get to do whatever you want.

Where you battered beyond belief when you wrote this?

La Nausee wrote:
Squidgy wrote:

We're in December now, is someone gonna do the end of year awards?

BF's coming back for one night only to present them.

I reckon Millsy is the man for the job. A total winner, he'll be scootering into work - electronic, obvs - listening to the Great Tony Robbins.....a mild, acoustic set..featuring some crack whores and generally fucked up people singing Coldplay songs - and will be well set up to deliver. A cauliflower smoothie for brekkie, absolutely nailing it with a PowerPoint presentation delivered via Skype whilst he tees off at St Andrews with Jimmy Tarbuck for some sick children etc.

Or failing that, Wally.

LOL.  Just realised I'll never be this funny.

fadass wrote:

#1 #2..... what the fuck? I honestly haven't a scooby what he's on about.


I couldn't follow it either.  Give them names Rhouses and which one are you by the way?

Sad to see the Power Rankings in such a shambles.

Diminished Responsibility wrote:

What are the rules when it comes to this situation?

We need the FULL backstory Rhouses.  How long were they together?  How long have they been friends? Don't spare any detail no matter how small, it may have a huge impact on the final deliberations.


(53 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

I thought his 2012 company announcement was his high point:

I am assembling a team of architects, graphic designers, directors musicians, producers, AnRs, writers, publicist, social media experts, app guys, managers, car designers, clothing designers, DJs, video game designers, publishers, tech guys, lawyers, bankers, nutritionist, doctors, scientist, teachers...

DONDA will be comprised of over 22 divisions with a goal to make products and experiences that people want and can afford...

Thoughts and prayers.

Q. Why did everyone stop listening to Breaks and Banter?
A. It was just a Fad.

Sorry Dave. Kill this one off now.


(76 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

chromosome_junction wrote:

Just what it does it take to warp a man like that, to spur him to produce that type of output? A sexual assault suffered during the formative years, perhaps? Some type of barely repressed sexual fantasy? Who knows. What an absolute Weirdigan.

Scenario 1

His life hasn't turned out as rockstar as he had hoped.  Instead of hoovering charlie off some bints pert buttocks he's passing cups of tea to the Robinsons and watching his prize fights (pay per view mind you) on mute.  Ed projects more of the life he wants so logically he hates him for it.

Scenario 2

They're both closet benders and what we are watching is foreplay.

zackster wrote:
Hop_Head wrote:
zackster wrote:

simonr has to be in the mix for helen-gate. unless i missed something, that whole thing was never cleared up.

He had a discussion about Flares and the Bedrock Board with a strange woman in a nightclub.  What do you need cleared up?  Case closed.

except you've left out the part where the same strange woman was outed for being flares, on the message board.

simon, you should defo get a trophy. i'll cast a bust of flares in black face and a wig and ship it over to you.

Wait, did we get to the bottom of it though?  Was she a hooker as suspected?


(76 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

I love Ed. He's doing the born into money thing properly; cheerful disdain for the rest of us.


(76 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

Beijing Dave wrote:

BREXIT CUNT MattBlack would arrange to meet you at Wetherspoons and show up in his Crosshatch and Henley's gear, and probably some kind of flat cap and Diesel trabbs that he got from TK Maxx, Daily Express rolled up under his arm and a cretinous grin on his baldy heid at the prospect of a £5.99 Chicken Tikka Masala and free pint.

You worked your way up to this but it is pitch perfect.  LOL.

zackster wrote:

simonr has to be in the mix for helen-gate. unless i missed something, that whole thing was never cleared up.

He had a discussion about Flares and the Bedrock Board with a strange woman in a nightclub.  What do you need cleared up?  Case closed.


(2,329 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

Homegrove wrote:

I could go on but I'm depressed enough as it is.

Hannu why not take a winter swim in the ice at Turku Saaronniemi?  Might lift your mood a bit.


(29 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)


fadass wrote:

Juice went to The fat duck & said he was fuckin starving after it. I can't be doing with all that frippery. Put these earphones in while you eat a spoonful of fish & listen to whale sounds... Er, no Heston, you smallman lookalike.... I won't actually. Stick it up your bollix.

Well said.  You have my full support LOL.

fadass wrote:

Fair play Hannu, your own special place for all you precious wankers who play other people's music to have a bitch about the serfs that pay your wages having the temerity to engage with you.

Can't wait til Millsy & the Kaufmeister get involved.

You ever play others people's music Fadass?

Worst was a girl I actually knew fairly well. She came up front and tried to chat to me over the decks. I did the mime for "I can't hear you" and added "give me 5 mins". She wasn't happy with that so she lifted the needle off the record that was playing and asked me a dumb question.


(55 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

fadass wrote:
erik.b wrote:


Ffs it's pane you fucking retard

Well done Erik, you ruiner.

"You must have been a real pane as a kid, Dermo..." was the real response needed.

Premature ejaculation cos you were so desperate to insult him. Tsk.

"No pane no gane Phil Opian"

Boring wrote:

Loops, how much do you need from us to make it over for Easter?

The exchange rate must make the trip a tad more feasible.

Also, what's the latest on the missus front? I think that was the key blocker last time.

Yes, let's solve this by pledging more money.  How much do you need Loopy?


(2,329 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

ghostriddenhuffy wrote:

For three weeks in a row, Alec Baldwin has been killing it as Donald Trump on Saturday Night Live. His facial expressions are on point and you can tell the actor has really studied Trump’s mannerisms and his penchant for weird pauses. Plus the wig and makeup work great. But Donald Trump isn’t a fan. The Republican presidential candidate took to Twitter on Sunday morning to act like a TV critic, calling Saturday Night Live a “boring and unfunny show” and say Baldwin’s “portrayal stinks.” Plus, he also linked it to his new(ish) favorite topic, noting the comedy show is just the latest example of how — wait for it — the election is rigged.

“boring and unfunny show”

Trump:  the funniest looking of all unfunny cunts.

God that Baldwin take is so one note.  But that's that show isn't isn't.  Subtlety of a sledgehammer, draw one funny idea out into 5 mins of tedium shaming all involved.  Trump's right.

ukhursty wrote:
millsy23 wrote:

Thoughts and prayers for Dermo/Dave's wives families.

Rocking the Thai brides?

What do you reckon?  Do you think that might have been the joke he was making?  I know it was subtle and you had to put the pieces together like a brain damaged Columbo but do you reckon that might have been the point?  Hey I know, let's spell it out just in case anyone else struggled as hard as we did to get there.  And chuck a question mark on the end to cover our ass if we've blown it.

Fuck me swinging, that's fingernails down a blackboard that comment.


(55 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

Dermatron wrote:
Hop_Head wrote:

post horrible jokes on limited appeal message boards?

Not sure about the limited appeal bit.

How big an audience do you think there is for middle aged men shitting on about the good old days that most likely never existed?


(55 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

millsy23 wrote:

I have to put up with intolerable clowns daily.

every time I visit here!




New job not as taxing as you thought or have you had Janice clear space in your schedule to post horrible jokes on limited appeal message boards?

Grant wrote:

I'm not that bothered, but I sure not everyone was in the same boat.

I think there's a general feeling of camaraderie in here, we're all around the same age, we have common interests, we have a laugh etc.  So when the hat went round and people chipped in it solidified that bond, Ed and Loopy being leading figures in the movement.  The internet had become real for us and even the cynical started to believe again, we were a middle aged, put upon, band of jaded rave brothers under prog.

Now it went tits up, shit happens.  But for Loopy and Ed to continue to post with gay abandon without even coming in here to explain where the money went, that's all you need to know about what we thought we had going here.  This is a dog eat dog shark tank powder keg full of Alpha males looking to catch you slipping and fuck you up.  Shame on them for holding a mirror up to us so we could see out true selves.  Shame on them for littering our digital oasis with flaming bags of shit.

Only John could save us but he remains cold and indifferent, a harsh lesson for the likes of Kiz.

I hate you all.