Have to admit, that's funnier than a shit in a teacup.

2

(168 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

Colly wrote:

John Digweed has two other brothers called Paul and Ringo


Fuck my signature, this destroys. Bagged.

3

(168 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

EDWARDTHECONFESSOR wrote:

hocus pocus

When I was introduced to the myriad delights of marijuana in 1989, this was the track playing on the stereo whilst I was shown - ripped to the tits on Newcastle Brown - how to roll and smoke the perfect joint.


Like fucking yesterday.


smashdad wrote:

Small world...


You think? This champion of the board was frugging next to me at the command of David Holmes in distant years and I didn't even know it. I'd like to know just many instances of Bedrock board 'near-missery' there's actually been over the decades....I reckon a hatful.

5

(168 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

Big Fella wrote:

the poorest 3.5 billion


Should have tried harder at school.

6

(52 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

Mr Boring wrote:

Flares, do you have a different web browser for each alias?


No need for all that Boring, only one identity required. The Real Flares. The original, and best, not to be confused with the glut of impostors plagiarising the brand during my absence.

Let's see Biggsy and his servant dwarf fuck off for two months and we can analyse the response. I have observed a number of wistful requests for my return and at least one full thread devoted to that very wish. BF is as stale and lifeless as mouldy bread so his removal would allow fresh, clean air to blow throughout the forum; I doubt that Gruntstain would be missed for an afternoon, let alone several weeks.

It's comforting to know I'm needed here, but I really can't give the board as much attention as before. So much to do, so little time. Try to contain your disappointment.

7

(80 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

I'll take my memories of the music business over yours stood over a hot fryer any day. And it's three bedrooms by the way. Note that down in your weird wanky stalker diary for next time eh lad? Wand's right about you and Grant...fucking strange pair, just laughable.

Love it.

8

(52 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

That's Flares to you BF, see if you can spell it right for longer than a week. I know you had trouble with 'Scholesy' on the other thread so I'm not holding my breath. This is what, my fifth post in over two months? Only half of that I was banned. I have a life, you don't, which is why you're on here posting every day and I'm not.

Anyway, must dash, adding the finishing touches to a mix. How's your latest coming along? Oh that's right, you don't put yourself out there creatively, you just sit in the corner like a fat spider being snide. Tick tock, tick tock.

9

(52 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

Only a proper cunt talks about other people's kids, and by that I mean a cunt in real life not just within the confines of a messageboard.

Isn't it Dermo who calls you spineless? Right on. Grow up, have a laugh and show some form. Nobody's family needs to be shit on up in here.

10

(52 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

Big Fella wrote:

Presto's Cock
Dermo's Wheelchair
Huffgay


You clown. You still don't get it, do you? This is why I have tremendous fun with this board and you clearly don't, Mr Bitter and Twisted. Either by accident or design, I made you - for the first time in your life - actually sit down and type the word 'huffgay' into a computer.

Ponder that for a minute you absolute fucking belter hahahaha

11

(80 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

That reminds me. Must get that boil on my arse lanced. The pus leaking out of it is starting to smell all wrong.

12

(80 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

Big Fella wrote:

Ben Wand and Dipper, Clithero Col and other guises are Flares in my opinion.

I think the most glaring thing apart from it being a tad sad and ultimately boring is that mud slinging by an alias carries no gravitas whatsoever. In fact shows a definite sign of weakness.



Let's be honest here Biggs, no one really cares about your opinion, what you consider weakness blah blah gravitas blah yawn etc. You're the biggest dullard on here by some margin, regurgitating the same old trollop over and over...I've been sat here watching you.

You seem to have forgotten the basic rule: I don't have to justify my existence to anyone, least of all some cod-dunking adult nappy on a music forum.


'And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Flares, and Hell followed with him.'

13

(80 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

La Nausee wrote:

Is Ben Wand/Dipper Flares?


Flares is Flares, Phil. There is no substitute. Listen to the master.

14

(35,996 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

Grant wrote:

I only despise Flares when he talks about football or indie music.  Outside of that limited knowledge he has, he's not too bad.  He's probably left the board now anyway, throwing a strop at his doppelganger, Ben Wand, taking over his mantle of drivel.


I'm always watching Granty, you should know that by now. Still talking like a lemon trapped inside a bottle of vinegar, I see? You bitter, hate-filled cunt. Calm your poor frayed nerves about my absence pleb, I've been distracted by more interesting projects...some musical, some female and some literary. Wand is as much of a cunt as the rest of you, which is why I've stepped back and let you all flap amongst yourselves like a gaggle of sexless geese. Fabulous entertainment. Keep up the good work.

15

(15 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

Did they? Didn't watch, been fuck off busy. Should have won the league, useless cunts.


Speaking of fuck off...



...fuck off.

16

(15 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

For Smashdad, for referring to the Great One as a 'cunt' for posting that SNL skit for our edification.

Diggers does not to my knowledge or anyone else's resemble that remark, so swift and brutal justice is required to return the board to a plateau of spiritual creaminess.

17

(45 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

A man my age complaining about a lass that age wearing him out. Poor show IMHO. I'd school a young slip of a girl that age and still have enough power left to whip up a mixed grill and shot tray for afters.

18

(174 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

Dermo wrote:

Same car has driven past ny house four times tonight.


It's probably someone from Yodel.

19

(35,996 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

Are people from Torquay quite small then?

Very interesting...didn't know these ever saw the light of day...

21

(4 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

Lol

22

(9 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

Pussy clart.


Dig this...


23

(35,996 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

flares_and_an_anorak wrote:
starcreeper wrote:

Wheels coming off, as I predicted months ago.


What the sweet fuck are you on about Creeps? Seriously, cut the shit because your Mystic Meg routine has more holes than a Swiss cheese.

Since the start of the Christmas programme 20 matches ago Arsenal have lost FOUR times in all competitions. Hardly a meltdown that, is it? They've played Chelsea twice, Liverpool twice, Bayern twice, Spurs twice, plus United and Everton. Look at where they are in the league. Granted, City and Chelsea are in a great position and Liverpool are the form team, but if Ferguson was six points off the top with 7 to play you can bet your arse he'd be right up for it and wouldn't be whining about 'wheels coming off', you blithering idiot.

Keep talking though, I like a good laugh at the end of a long day's graft.


Oh look BF, I was well ahead of you as usual. This was in response to Creepzilla's usual fanny about Arsenal going to shit, mind.

I could repost your dire warnings from the same page about City coming to the Emirates, but I'll let you revisit it yourself.

They're still not winning it imho

24

(35,996 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

Mr Boring wrote:

lol at "this time around"


How is that in any way humourous, you ballsack?

25

(35,996 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

I always find the 'mathematically' argument to be a bit desperate Biggs. We both know Arsenal aren't winning it this time around.