1

(57 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

2008- probation officer, taking bribes when i can , what i can, wherever i can.

1988-2006- chronic drug addict and alcoholic in the square mile.

diary of a reinsurance broker from brentwood
6am: unleash bowel movement , purging yesterdays cocaine, lager and sweet meats.
6.30am: get up/shower/power wank ..thereby processing remaining toxins down the plug hole
6.45am: violent argument with wife
7 am: no time for breakfast , off to work!!

7.45 am: toilet, wank , capaucino
8am : work!! push papers around, stare at screen , tap pen on teeth, toilet, wank.
1oam :pretend to read 'lloyds list'
11am : 'strategy 'meeting with other 'non marine facualty specialists', , in reality alcoholics all shaking like the drunken bakers in 'viz'.
item one, agenda one , priority one ..liase to meet in drakes wine bar or the english club 11.45am
11.40am: pick up folders and with the determined look of east german sprinter marlies goher, stride purposefully to the 'market' with durans 'hungry like the wolf' ringing in your head. eager for new business....
11.42am: simply decide against the exciting new buisness venture of going to see some cunt in his 'box' head straight for 'drakes' in leadenhall market.
11.45am. meet with other 'non marine facualty specialists' to discuss covering each others arses, if it all gets on top.
12.15pm: thoughts turn to the kibble and where we take our custom today.
will it be 'wraps', 'bar bed' , the counting house, the elephant or the wine lodge.(descisions descisions!!
1pm: time to take the show on the road!!: press buzzer to gain entry into bar bed's gentlemens club upstairs behind reinforced fire door.
1.01pm: time to mingle!!. associate with 'colourful' collection of junkys, theives, bullys, cunts,pimps, whores and reinsurance brokers.
4.30pm: leave establishment ripped to the tits and £2OO Lighter, but in possession of the life giving elexier that is the kibble. scurry' golem ' like to lloyds of london for an appointment with inaminate object 'the lutine bell'
4.45pm: 'rap' with bob the pristine yeoman at the entrance , of lloyds, cunted , like a long lost brother(making a mental note to ignore him the next day, if i survive the next 24 hours)
5pm: leave bob crying/scared and go to meet broker for my 2.30pm appointment
5.o2pm: wank in bogs, really unloading a pootle of gear in a prolonged orgasm due to being on the kib all afternoon.
5.11pm.... miss my 2.30pm appointment and express my apologies. my nans dying of 'testicular cancer 'or something
5:15pm ..'lunch ' more kibble and more pints in leadenhall market. discuss exciting new opportunities within a growing market with other 'specialists'
5.45pm..return to office. pack up leave.may 'jimmy' open the petty cash box and point the finger at the african cleaners...after all 'my word is my bond'
5.55pm..in to the wine lodge , more cocaine, more pints, more disscussion on pornography
7pm..asked to leave by management, quick inventory reveals dangerously low stock levels of kib ie 1/2 a grm. reorder critical.i repeat reorder critical!!
8pm..leave the counting house restocked..phew!!!1
8.15..in the cheshire cheese, reminiscing with other 'specialists' about our brave comrades that have fallen by the wayside and now live above a pet shop in a bedsit in tooting/eltham/basildon. either estranged from their wife and children or dead.
8.15pm to 11pm : have a fucking good laugh about the above 'fallen'. cunts.
10.15pm: time for home!!!. ring estranged ex colleagues wife on train home , wired to fuck, with propositions of a sexual nature, realise you have in fact rung your sister, but continue anyway.
11pm just in time to get a top of cocaine from colourful characters in the essex arms or to ring the travelling community to pop a gram round, phew!
12.25: home time!!!, throw dinner in bin have violent argument with wife, spend a night of fitful sleep on the sette in suit, waiting to do it all again!!

2

(125 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

1825 days inside a peter.dont bear thinking about.

basically one day for every "yes mi lady'.

3

(6 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

...Favourite tracks


magic.

"dont you love her as shes walking out the door.."

4

(25,910 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

there was a load of liverpool in the lower school end( opposite the loft) and various scuffles..most of which among qpr fans turning on each other...some wanted us to lose by 3/4/5 to get rid of harold

it was the worst i felt after a game since cantona's equalizer in the 96th minute back at loftus road 1996, with fergie pointing at the stopwatch around his neck and the ref.

loads of rucks between rangers fans that day. that second goal liverpool scored from the free kick yesterday with qpr standing around like fuckin kraftwerk resulted in a few punch ups.

plucky blythe spartans.

probably enough to keep harold in chicken in a basket for him and his team on the coach home to the club house and a last dance with kevin  bondy in his brentford draylons to bacarra 'yes sir i can boogie'.

plyd 9 won 1 drawn 1 lost 7 for 6 against 19

I wish I was like you
Easily amused,
all apologies.

5

(25,910 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

nice tackle,  cunt.

[video]


couldnt speak for 4 hours after the game yesterday. i unloaded a pootle of gear all over a picture of that nobel peace price winner who got shot by the taliban after i drew a bone through her nose and swastika earings.

a purge most foul.

6

(189 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

http://www.guardian-series.co.uk/news/c … perheroes/

is johnny kwango any good for you??, my 80 year old grandmother used to get quite unnecessary when johnny
took to the wrestling ring and got tally ho kay in a boston crab at 4 oclock on a saturday afternoon..those tiger skin pants!!

ffs..

7

(37 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

re 'the sun' today and their article.....'get ready for the apocalypse '

im just reading about this gadge , peter stanford, 46 from ..well i  dont know where from..its of no consequence.

suffice to say this survival nut is divorced and estranged from his children..

he plans to "trap animals to eat and build fires for heat and cooking. ive already earmarked a few camp sites , says peter, for when ebola strikes, and i shall be informing my family of its secret location so they can come and join me..."

peter continues.."i shall survive on nutrious protein packed squirrel , piegeon, pheasants, while the livestock lasts, then forraging for nuts, wild berries and rodents in leaner times."

and he continues" i have sourced a local spring well, so my son andd my family(who the cunt hasnt seen in ten years) will be well provided for"


just when you think it isnt possible..theres always some cunt worse off than you, isnt  there?.

8

(39 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

im of the firm school of thought that dj'ing, as it were,  became deeply unfashionable around 2002.

'dj'ing'...'programming'...mmmmmm

then again , that's when i stopped going out , choosing the somewhat foolhardy option of kibble and self flagellation and ultimately, total annihlilation.



'good people are in bed for nine o'clock.'

bollocks to that. perhaps i should go out again.

9

(63 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

karl henry.

10

(25,910 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

Big Fella wrote:

Bottom right bloke just needs a banjo.

was thinking the same, the madchester vibe if you will, oozes from every simian vitamin b12 deficient pore.


had a major blow out with the old man yesterday paul, no option but to keep going this morning/afternoon on the san miguels much to jo's flagrant displeasure.

the old boy showed me my parameters yet again in the dojo of world class drinking.fuck knows what state i'll be in for liverpool tmrw...early start as well..

"I'm out of my mind but pour me another
I'm going to take the old man  outside for a ride
what a fucking life."

11

(136 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

upton park, east ham, plaistow, manor  Park, ilford, forest gate.

dripping with culture.

12

(25,910 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

MattBlack wrote:

Down with this sort of thing

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B0OkVNKCAAA9Ohx.jpg

the lad with the hat in the background..is that the result of a northern diet and lack of sunshine??.



"may be a dream but it tastes like poison
im gonna take that runt of the litter outside for a ride.
what a life.."

13

(25,910 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

under harold , in particular away from home , we have the aura of a non league cup team from the seventies ,long sideburns, brut, fray bentos and smash.

jobs as milkmen , cost accountants and assembly line workers at british leyLand

charlie austin as our very own chris kelly the leatherhead lip.

in a world where players all go to the same working mans club for a pint afterwards and chicken in the basket , perhaps ending the night with polyester burns around the old chap from the cuffs of the wifes new blouse from brentford draylons

come to think of it , there is a touch of barbara castle about harolds hair and visage.

for managers that cant be bothered.

14

(25,910 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

word has it that harold , joe jordan and bondy are on the white city estate skunk and shepherds bush khat..openining the doors of perception and partaking in crazy groovy new tactics..


One pill makes you larger
And one pill makes you small
And the ones that mother gives you
Don't do anything at all
Go ask HAROLD
When he's ten feet tall

And if you go chasing rabbits
And you know you're going to fall
Tell 'em a hookah-smoking caterpillar
Has given you the call
Call HAROLD
When he was just small

When the men on the chessboard
Get up and tell you where to go
And you've just had some kind of mushroom
And your mind is moving low
Go ask HAROLD
I think he'll know

When logic and proportion
Have fallen sloppy dead
And the White Knight is talking backwards
And the Red Queen's off with her head
Remember what the HAROLD said
Feed your head
Feed your head

"this shits in the wind man !"

15

(189 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

the evening standard top 100 most influential people in london.

number 9. victoria beckham

number 12. the  girl who go shot by the taliban and subsequently got given the nobel peace prize

number 20. bennedict cumberbatch.



"When logic and proportion
Have fallen sloppy dead
And the White Knight is talking backwards
And the Red Queen's off with her head
Remember what the dormouse said
Feed your head
Feed your head"

good afternoon to you gentlemen, i shall now  repair to a public tavern of my choosing.

16

(25,910 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

QPR v LIVERPOOL sunday @loftus road
The scene... loftus road broom cupboard...5 mins before kick off.

ARMAND TRAORE/CLOTH Oh dear me, ma'am. I know it's our job to look after the young Master Sterling as best we can, but I can't help but feel MR brendan rodgers do treat us very rough sometimes.

RIO/BRUSH : And so he should, young ARMAND, for we love it. The complete negation of our personalities, the mind numbing servility, and the eighteen-hour day, and we expect no reward but a staircase over our heads.

BOBBY ZAMORA/Polish Spray : Oh yes, the personal abuse is our lot. And the further back you go, the better it was!

RIO/Brush: Now, everyone, the masters fron LIVERPOOL are coming downstairs to beat us. Not a peep out of you. Best behaviour, or you'll have me to answer to!



0-4.

cunts.

17

(25,910 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

harold redknapp press confrences @QPR EVERY FRIDAY FKN  MORNING.

death, plague, pestulance, famine and gareth bale ...

FFS......I think now, looking back, we did not fight the enemy; we fought ourselves. And the enemy was in us. Harolds excuses in his presser are over for me now, but it will always be there, for the rest of my days as I'm sure tim sherwood  will be, fighting with tony puliis for what tony Fernandes called possession of my soul...

..There are times since, I've felt like the child born of those two fathers. But, be that as it may, those of us who did make it through these infantile and tugid press conferences , have an obligation to build again, to teach to others what we know, and to try with what's left of our lives to find a goodness and a meaning to this life.

or something like that.


Private EDWARD THE CONFESSOR (3rd class).

'i aint got no quarrel with them kenny jacket.'

smashdad wrote:

always loved that track.



a bit embarassed to sling this one up now, but as im out on the piss from 1pm with my old man whose coming up to north chingford from east ham....



.......everything must flow...flow....flow....flow...lager, vodka, bicardi, nobby nuts and a ruck.a great cockney day out.

"I think now, looking back, we did not fight the enemy; we fought ourselves. And the enemy was in us. The KIBBLE  is over for me now, but it will always be there, the rest of my days as I'm sure JO  will be, fighting with Barnes for what Rhah called possession of my soul. There are times since, I've felt like the child born of those two fathers. But, be that as it may, those of us who did make it have an obligation to build again, to teach to others what we know, and to try with what's left of our lives to find a goodness and a meaning to this life.

or something like that.



ETC'the lord Haw-Haw of bedrock'

noticed the original earlier..this is , imhothe best mix...a fucking beauty..when i first heard the breakdown @ 5mins , to this i was sgt elias in platoon falling to my knees in subjugation .

or something like that

20

(45 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

dutchy101 wrote:

I think there should be a scene akin to this, depicting Glenn's experience of being kindnapped, with the words adapted to:

"Clowns to the left of me
Jokers to the right
Here I am
Stuck on the kibble with you"


lol!! you rascal !!.

i remember suffering from munchausen syndrome, as i was quite happy to stay for another day with my captors, rather than face the mrs.

cocaine..it takes you to hell and back brother.

21

(63 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

francis benali
karl ready
bosko balaban
robert fleck
any one from the swindon side 1993/94

22

(45 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

Big Fella wrote:

You want somebody to say Rocco, don't you Glenn?

jon 'babyface holmes'

23

(45 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

smallman1 wrote:

I had Russell Brand down to play ETC.




i cant feel my left side.......pains flooding my jaw and chest....russel brand and billy bragg!!!.

can we get shami chakribati and the  16 year old nobel peace prize winner who got shot by the taliban  to play my love interest.

a diabolical Asian babe mange trois  Most foul.

just down the road from us mate.

http://www.brentwoodgazette.co.uk/TOWIE … story.html

..November the 22nd 1963 all over again, you need to get the sights on that rifle checked out .shooting her tyres out is a poor show.




"back and to the left"


ETC' Yant is the patsy, you better believe it'

25

(45 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

Big Fella wrote:
dutchy101 wrote:

Book that is made into a film would be my preference. Who would play Glenn in the lead role?


Boris Karloff.

just seen that..you test me sir..

"mr barlow' from salems lot would have been better.


in james mason clipped tones...." give your kibble to the master"