(44 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

wonder what nicky holloway and johnny walker are up to now ?..only oaky and rampling of the wise men who went to ibia in '87 for alfredo's airy, euro  holiday music as part of that motley crew , forged a career out of it.

i remember him writing a hip hop column for 'blues and soul' in the mid eighties.

totally driven and had a eye for new trends.  looks like a bloated prog rock god retired on his salmon farm now.

how the fuck he's still alive , i dont know.


(7 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

mother of god.

Floor Plan of TIGER TIGER 31/12/14 @ 11.55PM

perhaps i can best explain my feelings using the atari 2600 game 'yars revenge' from 1981.


Foundation Ship...danny dyer playing 'club classics',  much to mark wrights approval

Great Wall.....coke dealers

Foundation Ship...A  bad Brentwood perm stinking of white wine farts who works in bought ledger (A to E), hankering for phallus.of any kind.and free coke.

Infinty...Mark wright/joey essex/dean macey /Vi * delete to taste

Dimensional String...Gemma collins hymen

Alien....jack ruby/mark chapman


(44 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

john bon digweed wrote:

20 years to the day this was broadcast!

https://soundcloud.com/pauloakenfold/pa … -radio-1-1

christ...20 years......bit of a rebirth for the oakenflid after that mix .

who then embarked upon a trecherous jason and the argonauts voyage  with his cruel sneering mug on the front of the 'ARGO' in search of golden fleece prog sounds on flammable, flying rhino, suck me plasma,pied piper  and cyber.

and i fucking love it.

wonderous mix . a life changer for me when i heard it.the club scene was  in the shitter at the time.


"Well, at one time, you've got it, and then you lose it, and it's gone forever. All walks of life: George Best, for example. Had it, lost it. Or David Bowie, or Lou Reed... Charlie Nicholas, David Niven, Malcolm McLaren, Elvis Presley."


well oaky had it.in spades.

thanks for the reminder mate..will have it on tonight with a few beers...jo's getting spatchocked by lawyers at her xmas do tonight in tower hill.


'start asking the right fucking questions'
@ rusty cole.


(1,134 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

last nights 'brian pern' with mark king and paul young.

at last a programme that doesnt make me sound like micheal elphick, 'jimmys' dad in 'quadrophenia' when he's watching 'ready steady go'.



the second best thing on tv after 'citizen khan'


(26,501 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

smallman1 wrote:

Did you hear me ETC?

i missed it mate, got held up at highams park on the cnting train.

what was it about ?


(26,501 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

smallman1 wrote:

I'm on at 5.45pm (newsbeat)

Possibly 4.30pm too.

i havent listened to radio one since noel tidybeard and david kid pension.

vi likes radio four and jimmy olds 'pack up yer troubles' hour .i told her straight.i says vi my girl you can fuck off with all that bollocks.depressing.you wont meet wilf again.blown to fuck on juno beach i says.and for what i says?.so people like me can cam round ere and nick your bar i says.dont bear thinking about.criminal really.someone should do something about it.but who?.we got cutbacks.we got immigrants.fuck that , nah! squire. too long in the tooth for that caper.well out of it chief.diabolical.let vi's purse take the train.easier all round.

so me and vi will be listening today on the wireless to you ED.  over a vienesse whirl and a cup of steralised tea before i roll her clit around my tongue.gertcha you cowson.teasing it for all its fkng well worth.dirty cow.in wilfs bed n'all ! .dont bear thinking about.i blame the darkies taking all our women.stands to reason.left with the tough meat.still , i aint complaining.neither is vi truth be told.not with a broken eye socket.good gel.


(1,134 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

'Brian Pern'..   wonderous

'The Strain'.... stupendous

'Citizen Khan'...cancerous.


(26,501 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

As you probably guessed by now for me, harold is as welcome at my club like a water based parasite contracted off a congolese fem dom after a heavy S&M session. then going home to find the mrs riding joey essex in the reverse cowgirl position with tickets to see clare balding on the tele interviewing james corden on my nest of tables.

But i cant , will not, blame him for last night.

I thought the side he picked last night was spot on.He went for a win imo , with his bold selection.Leaving him open to ridicule.

i applaud him leaving out niko, krancjr who is fit for nothing other than the MLS.
if we could bring him on to take set plays.fine.the wrong mans for english football.Thank you niko and goodbye.

i offer salutations to harold for omitting karl henry, a player who covers more square footage than those crack roulette machines in deprived london boroughs. God ..he is limited..A george kulscar of our times.Never a premiership player as long as 'citizen khan ' is deemed worthy by the BBC as a prime time show., I.E. forever.

as for grey friars bobby zzzzzzzzzzamora...two goals since lucy beale was murdered says it all.

the true identity of mary kelly's assassin will be revealed before this totem pole hits 4 goals in a calender year.

we go two down to deflected goals one from a player who is head and shoulders above anything we have in our squad.less adel ,tarrbt  who i think has shot his bolt across the bows of his career like a monday club tory catholic MP over a playful vignette of two wrestling sailors indulging in horseplay on shore leave.

its not the size of the dog in the fight but the size of the fight in the dog thats holding us back away from home.

that, and whisper it quietly, were just havent got that quality to compete with 75% of this league.

i dont blame harold for not changing anything around until the sixtieth minute when we were 3 nil down..he looked at the bench and realised he had a worse hand than robert de niro in vietcong captivity in 'the deer hunter'

look at that subs bench last night excluding alex mcarthy...(clint hill/rio ferdinand/.niko krancjr/shaun wright phillips/bobby zamora)it looked like a celebrity team to play an army side managed by bradley walsh to raise funds for selly oak hospital.

admirable,but not fit for premiership purpose in the year of our lord 2014.

if i want sentiment , i'll listen to steve wright and his sycophantic shite in the afternoon.

we need to introduce young blood to carry us through the season.

we'll end up with carlton cole. mercy.

I don't know why I love you
But I love you...

Always treat me like a fool
Kick me when I'm down that's your rule,
I don't know why I love you
But I love you

You laugh in my face
Lord how long must I be disgraced
Because I love you...

fucking QPR...

And I remember... I... I... I cried, I wept like some grandmother.

I wanted to tear my teeth out; I didn't know what I wanted to do! And I want to remember it. I never want to forget it... I never want to forget. And then I realized... like I was shot... like I was shot with a diamond... a diamond bullet right through my forehead. And I thought, my God... the genius of that! The genius! The will to do that! Perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure....to sell this shit to the carrion sheeple of the UK..

why are there so many fucking cunts in this world?

big shock for me that Gail Emms did'nt win last night...her daily views aired on the bbc concerning FGM in womens non league football, hijabs in the boardrooms of lancaster gate , breast feeding on center court and lesbian, gay ,bisexual and transgender formulae 2 drivers , resonate with me and thousands of other working class men throughout the year.

i also thought mo farah was unlucky given his fine work on his ambassadorial duites for the mass quorn UK market this year.

Big Fella wrote:

Not another thank you speech?

haha...my inbox runneth over with liquid  gold mixes..

i must speak to the people!

just a huge thank you to all those that sent me those progtastic mixes from the golden years.

genuinely overwhelmed . i have listened to over 75% of them and listen whenever i can.have to say made the eyes water with guilded memories on the train into that publicly funded shithole of her majesty probation office every morning .

genuine talent.from genuine geezers.

the board is brilliant for me. keeps one eye on new exciting Hot to trot EDM sounds and dosent let me forget those wonder years either.

"I'll stick with you baby for a thousand years
Nothing's gonna touch you in these golden years
Golden years, gold whop whop whop '..

thank you!


(4 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

hahahaha..who is that! hahahahaimdyinghahaahaha


(4 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

Big Fella wrote:

that excellent photo by Millsy sums it up for me.

which one mate?. missed that one.


(4 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)



'The party's on
The feeling's here
That only comes
This time of year

Simply having a wonderful Christmas time..'

christ , i hate it.


(63 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

for some reason ive just has an apparition of me and BF singing harmoniously , 'little drummer boy' in front of  a roaring fire at the bedrock xmas do with diggers on the old joanna.

subliminally, i think it means i hate him (BF), and want him dead.


(63 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

shaunstrudwick wrote:
Big Fella wrote:

FAO Dads

What present count are you going for this year for your child(ren)?

I was present for a convo the missus had with an associate of hers last weekend where this bint was worried as last year her brats present haul didn't match her mates on photos on Facebook.

Life Story

they both have too much shit as it is IMO - so i'm taking their presents to Cash Convertors and spending it on kibble

hahaha..its the thought that counts strudders..

just love the thought of their little faces hurtling down the stairs on dinner trays at first light, only to find daddy surrounded by strewn lottery wraps with nothing but the cokey sediment left, sunk to the elbow  in goose fat with gonzo porn and ben dovers 'pascal' goin ten to the dozen on a custom house shemale.

if you throw in old bing and bowie singing little drummer boy , ..and jo having a nervous breakdown yourve got the linghorn house on a christmas  morning to a tee.

ETC'Pa rum pum pum pum..'

Squidgy wrote:

love that northface mix!. right nice heavy proggy sound.

had 'entity' by them on pied piper.


(63 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

Ncable wrote:

Hellish visions of a less-wanton and carefree life ETC. The Secret Diary of Glenn Linghorn Aged 38 3/4...nightmarish, but achingly funny.

I should take you down The Obelisk and get you roaringly drunk, then manipulate my way into a share of the publishing rights through cunning and trickery.

never been the obelisk mate!..it made the local paper recently when some eastern european women nicked the poppy tin during the 2mins silence!!.

perhaps a wee snifter of port  over the yuletide period ?


(63 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

1. get demoted at work *priority one*

2. keep vi alive by the skilfull administration of I.V. nutrients and PH balanced minerals.taking daily poloroids of her stasis for my detailed files.i may start work on a cryo chamber for vi using whatever neolithic tools i have close to hand. will inevitably end with her drowning in semi amniotic fluid (brake fluid)in deep stasis in the dartboard cabinet i nicked from the british legion

abandoned, any vi ?...negative.

3. cut down on my nefarious visits to the mixed race section of barnados.i have become known as 'the master' taken from the hit tv smash 'the strain'..the net is closing but i demand satisfaction.

4.cultivate a closer relationship with pat next door. a housebound infirm 90 year old spinster who has just had to give up her car by the dvla, and therefore her independance up.

a contigency plan is most certainly on the fackin cards if and when vi turns up her toes. my perchant for mutton flaps cannot be sated.im a lover of seasonal fruits from a bygone era...and in winter only the witherd on the vine labia remains....but hey..thats the kind of guy i am.

5. spend wilfs war widow pension like the nazi's burning files at dacheau.everything must go!. the nags, lottery tickets and daily visits to the cereal bar in brick lane run by those two nonces.

6. lose weight i have gained since giving uo the kibble. i simply wont do it.a bit of extra carriage in a man of my statue shiows espirt de corps, deportment, a jeau  de vivre.

a 'been there , seen that , done that 'man of means.a man whose going places.possibly to the captains wheel for a fem dom session with wilfs fucking pension which only buys me 20 minutes of a latvian brass standing on my scrotal sack and piercing my gooch with her ertha kitt cha cha heels.

7.increase turnover and bile in my poison pen letters to shami chakribati, russel howard and the godess she cnt who got shot by the taliban doing her paper round . possibly using the Trimmimgs from my FGM service out the back of my renault gt turbo.

8.most depressingly continue to  breath,walk,talk,consume,deficate and absorbs jo's pictures of cats doing amusing things on her i phone during the ad breaks to location location location.



(64 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

ive just been sitting at the dining room table wrapping presents with jo when i mentioned these two max walls and their cereal bar.

her response...."its a really good idea, where people can mix and match their museli's, seasonal fruits and woodland berries"

i have killed her with a flat iron and buried her with loose twigs and shallow earth in epping forest


(64 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

my god.

born on the fourth of july Vietnam vet couture

(falls to knees in classic sgt elias pose from platoon).


(242 replies, posted in General Bedrock Discussion)

that sickly looking runt of the litter, russell howard.

that radge is claimed.

with extreme prejudice.

bbc3 comedy at its nadir.

siting on the train this morning listening to that excellent red parrot recordingfrom squidge(above), just as i turned it off the fella next to me (15 years younger) asked me if i liked 'Drake'.

i assimilated this question and  replied 'non Drake'

i hope that helped.i dont even know what one is.

the burden of the chiv.she weighs heavily on me.why am i surrounded by such scum?.

one day...one glorious day..