Topic: Thursday Humour

> These are true telephone conversations



> Samsung Electronics

> Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?".

> Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking

> about".

> Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that

> I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone

> Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?".

> Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".


> RAC Motoring Services

> Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am

> travelling in Australia?".

> Operator: Doesn't the product give you a clue?


> Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France):

> If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel

> to the other side of the car?".


> Directory Enquiries

> Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please".


> Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?".

> Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B'

> fell off".



> Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

> Operator: "Woven?. Are you sure?".

> Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label - Woven in Scotland".



> Caller: "I'd like the RSPCA please".

> Operator: "Where are you calling from?".

> Caller: "The living room".



> On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone

> box

> told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the<

> /DIV>

> window to write the number on".


> Computer Capers

> Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".

> Customer: "OK".

> Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".

> Customer: "No".

> Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?".

> Customer: "No".

> Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this

> point?".

> Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".


> Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you

> see the 'OK' button displayed?".

> Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?".


> Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised

> that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my

> file back again?".


> British Rail

> Customer: "How much does it cost to Bath on the train?".

> Operator: "If you can get your feet in the sink, then it's free".


> Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get

> through to enquiries, can you help?".

> Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".

> Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".

> Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".


> The Bank

> Caller: "I would like to borrow ?2,000 please".

> Operator: "Certainly, sir. Over how long?".

> Caller: "Three years, please".

> Operator: "OK, sir. That will be ?75 per month for 36 months. Is that

> OK?".

> Caller: "No, not at all. I want it all at once!"


"Never apologize and never explain - it's a sign of weakness."