Topic: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

Anyone else suffering from same hole syndrome?

She doesn't know im on here, you dont know who i am so fuck it. I am 44 and she is 39. We have been married for over 15 years and I love her--but I cannot figure out the sex thing with her. I have tried everything. She is way too conservative for me. Its sending my cock soft.


Boring boring zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

Find some way of going to an Asian country (I recommend China or Vietnam, others might suggest Thailand) once a year for whatever reason you can (mates holiday - if your missus is alright with that - some are as it entitles them to a holiday 'with the girls') or preferably 'on business' (I don't know what you do but I am sure there is a conference or trade fair in Shanghai or Guangzhou or somewhere that you might have cause to visit). If you prefer the old 'Turkish delight' then you can always head to Africa or the Caribbean, I expect.

Secretly brush up on the language, so you can be a skilled negotiator when you get there.

Find out the market prices in the place you're planning on mongering in.

Stuff a load of (by British standards) small change into your pocket and go mental for a week. Don't forget to bag up - you don't want to be coming home with the clap.

Return to your happy home for 51 weeks.

Repeat ad infinitum.

草泥马

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

its not really my bag though to be honest. Like I say I love her just want her to get jiggy with it.

Example of last umm 5 years-

Routine. She only wants it one way. We go to the bedroom . We undress ourselves. NO TOUCHING! We kiss for awhile, I play with her tits for awhile, I maybe go down on her and have a go with a small rabbit vibe, she cums in two minutes tops, makes me stop because it is too sensitive, and then I go missionary until the deed is done. She WILL NOT DEVIATE.

There you go. My life on a plate.

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

Fuck that, bin her off and get a younger model that swings both ways and likes to go dogging. Far cheaper and your happy for 52 weeks a year.

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

She has not given me a BJ in 17 years, but I must go down on her because that is the only way she can get off. Since I can get off by sex then I "don't need a BJ".

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

Sounds like misery. Dave's idea might just be your best bet!

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

Yeah, sheer misery that pal.

Personally, I love giving head so don't mind doing "more than my share" in that dept. but would never stand for that. Must be shite for blokes who just see it as a chore.

Last edited by Beijing Dave (Sunday Jul 2014 03:08:21)

草泥马

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

Beijing Dave wrote:

Personally, I love giving head


Wanna pop round then when she's out?

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

From the MattBlack 'joke book' that.

草泥马

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

hehe

Seriously,she has not even TOUCHED MY PENIS in 10 years. She just won't. I tried to move her hand there when we are kissing, but no. Heck I have even asked. She just laughs and doesn't do it.

She's not gettin banged elsewhere either. For obvious reasons.

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

Uncle Bazza wrote:

She's not gettin banged elsewhere either. For obvious reasons.


You keep her locked in the basement?

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

No. She wouldnt dare and neither would anyone else that knows me. Unlesss of course they dont mind being despatched like a flighting grouse.

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

Uncle Bazza wrote:

She has not given me a BJ in 17 years, but I must go down on her because that is the only way she can get off. Since I can get off by sex then I "don't need a BJ".

I'd get myself on www.lavaplace.com and go and find myself a iron curtain smash if life is as  bad as  you say it is...theres no way I would stay with a dorris if she was like that

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

4 brats say otherwise mate

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

Sounds to me like she's playing away from home. Have you ever tried poking the other hole and getting your brown wings?

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

Amps wrote:

Fuck that, bin her off and get a younger model that swings both ways and likes to go dogging. Far cheaper and your happy for 52 weeks a year.

I did just that for a younger Irish Lass.....into all sorts.

Life is good smile

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

They're all like that at first.

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

Uncle Bazza wrote:

4 brats say otherwise mate

Four kids and you run a night in Germany. How do you find the time?

Anyway, there must be women at your night you can get a bj from.

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

this one bird i was with used to give head with a mouth full of (insert brand of a popular) fizzy drink - she was a bit of filth mind - barmaid

Last edited by shaunstrudwick (Sunday Jul 2014 06:02:17)

check out my hearthis.at page

living la vida Strudders

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

I dont own a nightclub, between a load of us we are renting one for one night and are looking for good acts to book.




Fizzy drink wouldnt be allowed. Oh no. Sex cannot be initiated by touching or kissing. It must be scheduled or she asks me "Do you want do it?". That is her idea of spontaneous. It can only be in one room. No other room is available. No shower sex. No late night fun on the couch when the kids are asleep. Nothing.

I obviously ashamedly tug the general a lot.

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

Never ashamedly choke the chicken. It is a man's right.

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

Uncle Bazza wrote:

I dont own a nightclub, between a load of us we are renting one for one night and are looking for good acts to book.




Fizzy drink wouldnt be allowed. Oh no. Sex cannot be initiated by touching or kissing. It must be scheduled or she asks me "Do you want do it?". That is her idea of spontaneous. It can only be in one room. No other room is available. No shower sex. No late night fun on the couch when the kids are asleep. Nothing.

I obviously ashamedly tug the general a lot.

my ex was similar to that towards the end...it was a case of "do you wanna smash?"..I'm like (pausing for 5 or so) "no I'm good thanks" carrying on browsing/eating

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

dutchy101 wrote:

Never ashamedly choke the chicken. It is a man's right.


indeed you can't beat a good back-hand slice with a  *Gb of porn on hand to chose from smile

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

dutchy101 wrote:

Never ashamedly choke the chicken. It is a man's right.

Damn right,  if she's not putting out then Mrs Palm and her 5 lovely daughters should be the first port of call.

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

shaunstrudwick wrote:

this one bird i was with used to give head with a mouth full of (insert brand of a popular) fizzy drink - she was a bit of filth mind - barmaid


Really??
What bar and what do you ask for??