Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

Have you tried swinging?

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

Uncle Bazza wrote:

I dont own a nightclub, between a load of us we are renting one for one night and are looking for good acts to book.

A load of you? Any of them post on here?

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

Ride your sister in law. Job done. If you're really feeling vengeful get her to wear your bird's pjs.

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

Mr Boring wrote:
Uncle Bazza wrote:

I dont own a nightclub, between a load of us we are renting one for one night and are looking for good acts to book.

A load of you? Any of them post on here?

If any of them have lives, then quite probably not.

Keep it FLAC. Say NO to variable bit rates.

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

Alias The Jester wrote:

Sounds to me like she's playing away from home. Have you ever tried poking the other hole and getting your brown wings?

The more I read from this character the more I think Alias The Jester has it spot on.

草泥马

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

Uncle Bazza wrote:

She has not given me a BJ in 17 years

email a bunch of her friends asking for gift suggestions; you want to get her a surprise. accidentally include your wife in the email. she'll be blowing you before you can take your shoes off.

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

I feel your pain Bazza, i was with the same woman for 12 years and in the end it nearly destroyed me, i became withdrawn, lost a lot of friends and although the sex was ok at first it soon deteriorated and became all about her and i just put up with it. Now i have met someone new and its like being awoken from a coma, i have realised that it wasnt my fault and that it was just that relationship wasnt the right one, i feel totally different now and meeting someone who really gets me and likes me for me has given me a whole new outlook.
Bottom line is this, shes not going to change, thats how she likes sex and if you dont like it that way then you going to have to find someone that likes it the way you do, so you either just put up with it and spend most of your life wanking off to porn or you find a new partner

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

Was this woman of 12 years H Just H?

All of us over on GU could have told you she was a mentaller. After 2 posts.

草泥马

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

Beijing Dave wrote:

Was this woman of 12 years H Just H?

All of us over on GU could have told you she was a mentaller. After 2 posts.


Lol, i should have listened to you lot then!

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

MattBlack wrote:

Now i have met someone new and its like being awoken from a coma, i have realised that it wasnt my fault and that it was just that relationship wasnt the right one, i feel totally different now and meeting someone who really gets me and likes me for me has given me a whole new outlook.

Also, this ^ is like reading something from Woman's Own. Boo fucking hoo. Why don't you go and take a no-make-up selfie?

MattBlack wrote:

Bottom line is this, shes not going to change, thats how she likes sex and if you dont like it that way then you going to have to find someone that likes it the way you do

And this ^ is nonsense.

草泥马

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

Sorry Dave, im happy now, i wasnt really before, so i dont really give a fuck

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

Good for you Matt.

草泥马

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

MattBlack wrote:

Sorry Dave, im happy now, i wasnt really before, so i dont really give a fuck

So Matt, what did you do with the old one? A few of us might be looking for tips.

Bin liner and a trip to the canal?

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

Mr Boring wrote:
MattBlack wrote:

Sorry Dave, im happy now, i wasnt really before, so i dont really give a fuck

So Matt, what did you do with the old one? A few of us might be looking for tips.

Bin liner and a trip to the canal?

Left her to rot in her own misery

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

It's all over the moment she starts to get grossed out by the eggnog and not drinking it anymore. Or maybe not even bothering taking the bottle to her mouth at all anymore.

Then you just know it's over. She doesn't lust for you anymore (the above is the ultimate way to measure this, just as a thermometer is the ultimate way to measure temperature)

Then there's no more hope.

Last edited by Glen (Sunday Jul 2014 13:33:01)

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

Make her squirt.

She'll change her attitude on the spot.

Thank me later.

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

If she isn't gonna have a gobble on yours don't have a munch on hers.

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

Presto wrote:

If she isn't gonna have a gobble on yours don't have a munch on hers.

Oh, tit for tat is a great recipe for a happy life.

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

Maybe you need to dominate her a little more? You know.. take charge?

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

Honestly, what's the point in a Doris that doesn't smoke bloke? Absolutely part and parcel of being female and should be taught to them in schools when they go off for their 'women's issues' lessons. We don't ask them to take the bins out ffs.

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

I support that point of view millsy.

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

Glen wrote:

Maybe you need to dominate her a little more? You know.. take charge?

Exactly! Thumbs on eyes, index fingers behind the ears, exert downward pressure.

Or just spunk on her face whilst she's sleeping. Women love that.

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

Exactly

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

millsy23 wrote:

Honestly, what's the point in a Doris that doesn't smoke bloke? Absolutely part and parcel of being female and should be taught to them in schools when they go off for their 'women's issues' lessons. We don't ask them to take the bins out ffs.

Fucking hell Millsy, this is why your the Christian Grey of the Bedrock board

Re: Poking the same hole for a lifetime

MattBlack wrote:
millsy23 wrote:

Honestly, what's the point in a Doris that doesn't smoke bloke? Absolutely part and parcel of being female and should be taught to them in schools when they go off for their 'women's issues' lessons. We don't ask them to take the bins out ffs.

Fucking hell Millsy, this is why your the Christian Grey of the Bedrock board

I am indeed the sensitive, caring sort.