Topic: Darwin Adwards

Just found these in an old e-mail. If you've seen them before - sorry, if not - ENJOY !


How FUCKIN' stupid we humans can be !


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I'm never quite sure how many of these I should believe - you have to hope

they're all true.



Yes, the one we've all been waiting for ... the Darwin Award 2002.

The candidates have finally been released! For those not

familiar with the Darwin Award, It's an annual honor given to the person

who provided the Universal human gene pool the biggest

service by getting KILLED in the most extraordinarily stupid way.

As always, competition this year has been keen again.

Some candidates appear to have trained their whole lives for this event!



DARWIN AWARD CANDIDATES


1. In September in Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two

feet of water after squeezing head first through an

18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.


2. In October, a 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned

when he ran," accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high

cliff on his daily run.


3. Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug

into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach goers

said Daniel Jones, 21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind,

and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday

afternoon when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on

the beach, on the outer banks, used their hands and

shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a resident of Woodbridge, VA,

but could not reach him. It took rescue workers

using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people

looked on. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.


4. In February, Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fell

face-first through the ceiling of bicycle shop he  was

burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his

mouth (to keep his hands free) rammed into the base

of his skull as he hit the floor.


5. According to police in Dahlonega, GA, ROTC cadet Nick Berrena, 20, was

stabbed to death in January by fellow cadet

Jeffrey Hoffman, 23, who was trying to prove that a knife could not

penetrate the flak vest Berrena was wearing.


6. Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in February in Selbyville, Del,

as he won a bet with friends who said he would

not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the

rigger.


7. In February, according to police in Windsor, Ontario, Daniel Kolta, 27,

and Randy Taylor, 33, died in a head-on collision, thus

earning a tie in the game of chicken they were playing with their

snowmobiles.



DARWIN AWARD HONORABLE MENTIONS


1. In Guthrie, Okla, in October, Jason Heck tried to kill a millipede with

a shot from his 22 caliber rifle, but the bullet

ricocheted off a rock near the hole and hit pal Antonio Martinez in the

head, fracturing his skull.


2. In Elyria, Ohio, in October, Martyn Eskins, attempting to clean out

cobwebs in his basement, declined to use a broom in favor

of a propane torch and caused a fire that burned the first and second

floors of his house.


3. Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover Township, NJ, and his wife

Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of

dynamite blew up in their car. While driving around at 2 AM, the bored

couple lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window

to see what would happen, but apparently failed to notice the window  was

closed.



RUNNER UP


TACOMA, WA - Kerry Bingham, had been drinking with several friends when one

of them said they knew a person who had

bungee-jumped from the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The

conversation grew more heated

and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 am.

Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered

that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking,

volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's

cable lay nearby. One end of the cable was secured around Bingham's leg and

the other end was tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet

before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He

miraculously survived his fall into the icy river water and was

rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All I can say," said Bingham, "is that

God was watching out for me on that night. There's just no

other explanation for it." Bingham's foot was never located.




*** AND THE WINNER ***


PADERBORN, GERMANY - Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his

constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a

bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally

let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200

pounds of poop! Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting

to give the wailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved

beast unloaded on him. "The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected

defecation knocked Mr.Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on

a rock and  lay unconscious as theelephant continued to evacuate his bowels

on top of him," said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern.

"With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an

hour before a watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated. It

seems to be just one of those freak

accidents at happen."



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"Never apologize and never explain - it's a sign of weakness."

Re: Darwin Adwards

Notice that they are rather alot of Americans here. No surprise really   
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Re: Darwin Adwards

Oi... Leave off the Americans.
---

Ajos1 The Desperate Retired OAP<i></i>

Ajos1 (Non-DJ Punter)

"God help them if their babies are ugly, coz they're be none of this *oh that's the cutest baby EVER* rubbish.   And my friends are not good looking, so I don't like their chances." - BaldOne 19/Mar/2004

4

Re: Darwin Adwards

yep...


this stuff does actually happpen..


www.darwinawards.com/darw...02-14.html



people are dumb.


fsnl

sparky
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