Topic: Art

In the Tate Modern Art Museum in London there's a

glass of water on a chrome shelf 9 feet up...

What follows is an interview with the artist about his work...

Q. To begin with, could you describe this work?

A. Yes, of course. What I've done is change a glass of

water into a full-grown oak tree without altering the

accidents of the glass of water.

Q. The accidents?

A. Yes. The colour, feel, weight, size ...

Q. Do you mean that the glass of water is a symbol of

an oak tree?

A. No. It's not a symbol. I've changed the physical

substance of the glass of water into that of an oak


Q. It looks like a glass of water.

A. Of course it does. I didn't change its appearance.

But it's not a glass of water, it's an oak tree.

Q. Can you prove what you've claimed to have done?

A. Well, yes and no. I claim to have maintained the

physical form of the glass of water and, as you can

see, I have. However, as one normally looks for

evidence of physical change in terms of altered form,

no such proof exists.

Q. Haven't you simply called this glass of water an

oak tree?

A. Absolutely not. It is not a glass of water anymore.

I have changed its actual substance. It would no

longer be accurate to call it a glass of water. One

could call it anything one wished but that would not

alter the fact that it is an oak tree.

Q. Isn't this just a case of the emperor's new


A. No. With the emperor's new clothes people claimed

to see something that wasn't there because they felt

they should. I would be very surprised if anyone told

me they saw an oak tree.

Q. Was it difficult to effect the change?

A. No effort at all. But it took me years of work

before I realised I could do it.

Q. When precisely did the glass of water become an oak


A. When I put the water in the glass.

Q. Does this happen every time you fill a glass with


A. No, of course not. Only when I intend to change it

into an oak tree.

Q. Then intention causes the change?

A. I would say it precipitates the change.

Q. You don't know how you do it?

A. It contradicts what I feel I know about cause and


Q. It seems to me that you are claiming to have worked

a miracle. Isn't that the case?

A. I'm flattered that you think so.

Q. But aren't you the only person who can do something

like this?

A. How could I know?

Q. Could you teach others to do it?

A. No, it's not something one can teach.

Q. Do you consider that changing the glass of water

into an oak tree constitutes an art work?

A. Yes.

Q. What precisely is the art work? The glass of water?

A. There is no glass of water anymore.

Q. The process of change?

A. There is no process involved in the change.

Q. The oak tree?

A. Yes. The oak tree.

Q. But the oak tree only exists in the mind.

A. No. The actual oak tree is physically present but

in the form of the glass of water. As the glass of

water was a particular glass of water, the oak tree is

also a particular oak tree. To conceive the category

'oak tree' or to picture a particular oak tree is not

to understand and experience what appears to be a

glass of water as an oak tree. Just as it is

imperceivable it also inconceivable.

Q. Did the particular oak tree exist somewhere else

before it took the form of a glass of water?

A. No. This particular oak tree did not exist

previously. I should also point out that it does not

and will not ever have any other form than that of a

glass of water.

Q. How long will it continue to be an oak tree?

A. Until I change it. 

Re: Art

Who the hell let that looney into the gallery?

What a load of bullcrap
Simon Preston -


Re: Art

If I were to kick the nine foot shelf and the glass, I mean oak tree, were to fall down, would you shout 'timber', you cvnt?



Re: Art

would it make a noise if no one was there to hear it???


Re: Art

oh fu<k me.

that's beautiful!

*grinning from ear to fu<king ear*

only a true genius could pull that one off.



eo: John Creamer & Stephan K - I Wish You Were Here (PMT remix), System Of A Down - Bounce
<i>Edited by: p3ntuprage at: 9/10/02 7:35:22 pm

Re: Art

What inspiration!!!!!!   

Wonder how much he got for doing that.

- jay -

Re: Art

<b><i>Quote:</i></b> only a true genius could pull that one off.

That or only complete twats would go along with it. Quite frankly he`s exploiting the gullibleness of the art world. Bunch of idiots who think they`re educated. Then of course, fashion will follow as they don`t want to be left behind.

You`ll soon be able to buy designer Oak Trees for your very own living room, costing from 200 quid upwards.

Simon Preston -

www.simonpreston33.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk<i>Edited by: simonpreston at: 9/10/02 11:25:33 pm


Re: Art

of course the people who follow it and 'see the oak tree' are dipshi+s...

but the fact that he's put forward an infalliable (superficially atleast) arguement justifying it is the genius part...



Re: Art

<b><i>Quote:</i></b> "only a true genius could pull that one off"

Has anyone here ever been pulled off by a true genius ?

Regrettably I have not.

                                          a l t e r - n a t i v e   l o g i c                                                                                                                                    kevin 'smashdad' sullivan<i></i>

Re: Art

every night   


the name "tonic wine" does not imply health giving or medicinal properties

Re: Art

Are you claiming to be a genius then ?!

                                          a l t e r - n a t i v e   l o g i c                                                                                                                                    kevin 'smashdad' sullivan<i></i>

Re: Art



the name "tonic wine" does not imply health giving or medicinal properties


Re: Art

<b><i>Quote:</i></b> Has anyone here ever been pulled off by a true genius ?


but i once got head from steven hawking.



Re: Art

...i ate a jammie dodger this morning and when i went to the toilet i changed it into a sh*t......

...im a fvcking genius, put my sh*t in the Tate modern too.



Re: Art

i think someone beat you to it.

i can't remember who...

but it was the same guy who put a plastic jesus in a vat of piss...



Re: Art

Has anyone here ever been pulled off by Hodgy ?!

                                          a l t e r - n a t i v e   l o g i c                                                                                                                                    kevin 'smashdad' sullivan<i></i>


Re: Art

the captain of his rugger team

Re: Art

Bad Bwoy Mc Hodge in da house.