Re: The Ashes (Possible 2 pager)

smallman1 wrote:

Got day 5 at Lords and the Thursday at Old Trafford.

The egg and bacon blazer will be getting dusted off.

Along with the salmon chinos.

Member of the MCC? Of course you are.

Re: The Ashes (Possible 2 pager)

Salmon chino shorts and espadrilles. Arran sweater slung casually across the shoulders teamed with a crisp white Ralph Lauren polo and aviators. Yes. Please.

Re: The Ashes (Possible 2 pager)

Salmon chino shorts and pallid Irish legs do not go.

Re: The Ashes (Possible 2 pager)

With my Roma ancestry, I could carry off that look no problem.

Re: The Ashes (Possible 2 pager)

Carry off that and everything else, you thieving diddikai.

Re: The Ashes (Possible 2 pager)

Racist.

Re: The Ashes (Possible 2 pager)

Get the fuck in there. Bit close that was. Hahahahaha cant wait for work.

Part of the problem

Re: The Ashes (Possible 2 pager)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jf0iy6cgRE4

Re: The Ashes (Possible 2 pager)

Oh dear .
Lesson learned in this test. Won't be getting another chance like that. Horrible cunts.

Part of the problem

Re: The Ashes (Possible 2 pager)

Re: The Ashes (Possible 2 pager)

"Cricket. No matter who wins, both teams, and all the fans, are losers." - Frankie Boyle, July14, 2013

*deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep breath*  "One game at a time lads" - Strudders (Mar,Apr,May 2014)

Re: The Ashes (Possible 2 pager)

Cricket on the whole is shite. But the Ashes represents much more than just cricket. Its represents the only thing Australians measure their success as a nation on. It represents a massive fucking chip on their shoulder. It represents something more important than their children, their inedible chicken sausage sizzles on white dough, their bad thongs, their bad shorts, their bad hair, their bad culture on a whole.

It hurts them more than anything is what its all about. On top of their Olympic failure and losing to The Lions they've now got to watch another pom lead the Tour de France and lose the only thing they truly care about. Cricket.

Australia is a fucking fantastic place to be right now. I'm truly proud to be here enjoying our colony.


Motherland 1 - Convict cunts NIL

Part of the problem

Re: The Ashes (Possible 2 pager)

It still amazes me how worked up they get about the English.  Some of the comments on the Sydney Morning Herald website today - '10 Reasons to Hate the Poms' etc - were unbelievable.

The funny thing is, apart from the fact that we can enjoy seeing how much it pisses them off to lose, I don't think many English people give a shit about the Australians.

Re: The Ashes (Possible 2 pager)

Correct. The best way to hurt them is ignore them when you win. Not once have I mentioned the cricket or rugby. i just sit smugly knowing that its hurting. Them however, fuck me after day four they thought they had won it. Not a sausage about cricket today. Thick cunts.

Part of the problem

Re: The Ashes (Possible 2 pager)

millsy23 wrote:

Salmon chino shorts and espadrilles. Arran sweater slung casually across the shoulders teamed with a crisp white Ralph Lauren polo and aviators. Yes. Please.

The Millsynator getting this all sorts of right.

Re: The Ashes (Possible 2 pager)

Foxy Stoat wrote:

The funny thing is, apart from the fact that we can enjoy seeing how much it pisses them off to lose, I don't think many English people give a shit about the Australians.

It's like England versus Germany in football - they don't give a shit about England and they're staggered at our hatred aimed at them - they hate Holland.  Englischer Fussball: A German View of Our Beautiful Game  - good book.

Re: The Ashes (Possible 2 pager)

This is true but these days I think our rivalry with Germany is pretty much confined to the football whereas Australia's obsession with Pom-bashing is constant. 

It would be quite funny if they actually had an ounce of wit between them.

Re: The Ashes (Possible 2 pager)

The worst ones are the ones that have never left the country. probably the same for most nations, but Aussies surpass it.

Part of the problem

Re: The Ashes (Possible 2 pager)

Oh the Ozzies where do I start! My colleagues consist mostly of this strange breed of people. On the face of it you would think they would be similar to the Irish, good humoured and laid back but alas no. Don't get me wrong the good ones are a joy to be around but I find there's no middle ground, they're either great or an absolute pain in the ass. What I've found most about them is they cannot relax for one second for doing so might open them up to revealing a weakness, they're like the Chinese in that regard they hate appearing weak, us on the other hand have the good sense to take the piss out of ourselves, doing that in front of an Ozzy though is suicide, they just don't see the irony. If they can see a weakness they'll exploit it to the max. Did I mention they love to point score, well they are the worst at this, it makes them feel better about themselves, if you point out an error they've made, they'll just pretend they knew about it all along, infuriating. Don't get me wrong I have a few good Australian friends, but the bad sort let's the side down, true of any nation I suppose.

Last edited by Ahad Adump (Monday Jul 2013 01:39:54)

Knackered as usual

Re: The Ashes (Possible 2 pager)

Doesn't it fuck you off that you have to breakdown and explain absolutely fuckin everything to them? Even so called educated intelligent ones. They miss everything. The more glaringly obvious it is the more likely it is they will miss it. Any quick humour? No chance. Anything at all ironic or sarcastic they believe 100% its true unless you tell them otherwise.

Ill say it until i'm blue in the face. They are the thickest people on the planet.

Part of the problem

Re: The Ashes (Possible 2 pager)

Agreed, worst expats in my experience - Aussies (for the reasons above), Canadians (fucking moaning miserable WEIRD bastards), best - Yanks and Germans, surprisingly, and the Irish.

草泥马

Re: The Ashes (Possible 2 pager)

Yeh surprisingly i quite like the newer generations of the Germans, especially the ones from Hamburg. Very switched on nowadays. The ones from the north can be a bit thick though.
Cant fail with the Irish, I tend to hang round with them in pubs if there's no English around.

Part of the problem

Re: The Ashes (Possible 2 pager)

Never met a bad German.  I generally like the Kiwis too although they consistently manage to produce the ugliest women on the face of the earth.

Re: The Ashes (Possible 2 pager)

Dermo wrote:

Yeh surprisingly i quite like the newer generations of the Germans, especially the ones from Hamburg. Very switched on nowadays. The ones from the north can be a bit thick though.
Cant fail with the Irish, I tend to hang round with them in pubs if there's no English around.


Isn't Hamburg in Northern Germany?

Re: The Ashes (Possible 2 pager)

Aussie bloke explaining how the flight from Zew Zealand to Chile was boring "Well, it's all over water isn't it?"

wtf has that got to do with it you thick cunt? Like a 12 hour flight over land is exciting in comparison?

I hope we win every game by less than 20 runs. That would smart em...